About Boundaries and Partial Fulfillment

On my horoscope podcast from Wednesday, February 16, 2022:

“Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” ~Prentice Hemphill

With good boundaries, you can continue to love anyone while still loving yourself.

The trick is knowing at which distance you need to stand in order to accomplish keeping both loves and being accepted when you create those boundaries. In any relationship, but particularly in non-monogamy, it’s not all or nothing. It’s often I can stand this close in this way, but I need space and distance over this or that area of our experience.

The fairytale that I’m going to meet the one person who, while together, all our needs will be met and with whom we enjoy doing everything, has never been me and it never will be.

Firstly, because I’m constantly changing. What I was into 5, 10, 15, or 20 years ago ceases to be of great interest to me today. And I’m not talking movies and music. I’m talking significant changes because I like to know through exploring and the challenge of applying new concepts to my life. And that changes me — often radically.

To meet all my needs and enjoy everything with me in a monogamous lifelong relationship a partner would have to change with me in all the same ways. My husband and I…