About the Journey

My husband started struggling with mild ED in his mid thirties. We tried several approaches to fixing the problem. While some measures helped for a time, none were permanent. Cheating on my good man and best friend wasn’t an option for me. I’d never tear that man down or wreck the beautiful life we’d built together through the dishonesty of adultery. As the issue progressed, I just accepted that sex would be less a part of my existence so, I began to pour that energy into other pursuits. Blog projects, homeschooling, research into subjects that inspired me, particularly in the realm of politics. My political transformation led me to participating in a podcast. The lead host was a beautiful Scorpio man who, just by nature of who he was, caused what I’d been burying to come violently bubbling to my surface.

When I was aware of the fact that I was deeply attracted to the man and that I wasn’t ready to let go of the expression of my sexuality, I talked openly with my husband.

At the same time this was transpiring in me, my husband, who had partially lost his usual companion in me as I engaged in pursuits that weren’t appealing to him, realized he had a growing connection with someone in his life who, while unavailable to him for anything more than friendship, became a secret, unrequited love.

Neither of us was hurt to know this about the other. We simply did what a Libra and a Pisces do best: Talk rationally and listen understandingly. First and foremost, my husband is my best friend and I am his. That is the primary, unshakable foundation of our relationship. Which should come as no surprise to those of you who are students of astrology as a Libra and a Pisces are often described as a beautiful, peaceful friendship that rarely makes it to anything more.

After an intensely emotional summer for me, as I worked through my strong urges which stood in conflict with my faith, my husband and I began to explore the idea of openness. We researched openness, swinging, and polyamory for months before making any moves.

When we did begin moving, we took it slow and checked in with each other frequently. Having spent our adult lives controlling our sexual natures, down to our thoughts, for the sake of our God, our first step was on our family beach day. I agreed that he could openly enjoy the sights at Popham beach, where he’d normally spend a tremendous amount of mental energy averting his eyes, and he agreed to let me enjoy attracting the gaze of other men where I’d…