Boundaries: How My Training is Changing My Life First

I’ve been pretty school-focused the past several days: Plugging away at the required reading, copying over my notes from the first module, reaching out to people who indicated they’d be willing to be practice ‘clients’ for some of the tools I’ve learned, reading through the training manual, copying and updating the student assignment spreadsheet, and the like.

While there is ‘do’ involved with being a coach, the whole modality I’m learning is predicated on ‘to be’. In the following weeks after the first module, I’m learning to be what I’m going to be coaching and I’m thankful for that. Though some of it has been hard, I am a firm believer in not being able to pull anyone up to a level that I’ve yet to reach for myself.

I can’t lead anyone where I’ve not yet been.

I have had a real awakening to my need of creating habits of resilience for myself and strengthening in making clear and holding to my boundaries.

Boundaries like:

Hey, ladies, if you’re out with your man and want to be engaging and be engaged but your regular experience is being ignored while he checks out every hot little thing around you because he likes to look? Let him.

Let your eyes drop seductively and wryly smile back at that guy checking you out from the other side of the bar while your guy is distracted. Why should he be the only one getting a thrill from others?

Instead of feeling like you’re not worth much, remember that nine times out ten, all he’s going to get is the sight and imagination of a woman he’s never going to even talk to let alone be able to fuck while, nine times out of ten, you could walk out of that bar on the arm of a very fun night.

I don’t have to be shoved-up inside myself, lonely, bored, and feeling valueless.
I am powerful.
I have a vagina and boobs, and my man isn’t the only one distracted by pretty women, of which, I am one.

But he’s heard me again.

We were out at a local festival with music. He lost himself in the music and moment and was distracted by a tall, curly haired, sundress wearing brunette standing a short distance in front of me.
Love as an…