Deconditioning

Getting away from what isn’t me and to what is

Well, hello all! I’ve been silent for a long time as I’ve been going through some deep waters and big changes.

First, as of early January, my husband and I are divorced.
But it’s OK, really. It was very amicable. In fact, the mediator, who interviewed us both individually, didn’t really believe us when we told her that this would be the easiest proceeding she’d conducted. By the end of our time (which wrapped up a half hour earlier than she’d allotted and didn’t use the spill over time), she was smiling and confirming that the mediation had been the easiest and she wished they could all go that way.

And the judge at our final hearing was taken aback at me crying over her insistence that my husband give more than I was asking. Like the boyfriend has always said, we’re weird.

We’re not actually weird, we just epically know how to love and care for each other — genuinely and sincerely.

However, sex isn’t authentic to us as a couple anymore and I do love him so, I want him to freely seek that kind of partnership without the deadweight of having to explain that he’s still married hanging from about his neck. So, we’re divorced but … not forsaken.