Emetophobia

An interesting thing is occurring as I seek new employment. I put my resume on indeed, did a blanket application drop and what is starting to rise to the top are opportunities to work in hospital/nursing home settings.

There is a draw to these positions within me for several reasons that feel very healthy, almost spiritual, but there’s one thing in the way — I have battled emetophobia my whole life.

Emetophobia is the fear of vomiting. It is a type of anxiety disorder and is also known as specific phobia of vomiting (SPOV). Medical News Today

As I was reading down through that article, I recognize the ways that I have employed avoidance to cope with the disorder throughout my life. Including, but not limited to, not entering medical fields despite the fact that I’m drawn to them and, other than vomit, bodily fluids (including blood) don’t bother me, and I can manage excrement.

The reason these opportunities feel healthy and right is, in part, because I have much more awareness now of how suited I am for positions of care giving. I’m wired toward empathy, understanding, and compassion while also being able to maintain enough emotional distance to not be personally brought down by other people’s suffering.

I was present with my grandmother as she was dying, providing company and care several days a week and I was with her…