Jerry and Elaine

An Update

A year and 3 months after deciding to explore whether or not we could be monogamous life partners, the boyfriend and I are landing on a different path because ‘or not’ is the clear result of the trial.

I’ve written enough on why. I don’t want to spend any more time or energy deconstructing it (at least here) or on picking him apart.

After a painful year and an intensely contentious past couple of months, “We’re just not good as a couple” is the conclusion of the matter and that is what’s important for you, my readers, to know. Though, to be fair, you’re probably relieved to read we’ve come to that conclusion.

What was important to me was that we came to that conclusion. We both understand it. We both see it. Maybe not the same way, but it’s with us both now. It’s not a matter of one leaving the other unprepared and broken from something the other isn’t ready to accept.

That we both understand it in our own way, we have been able to talk about where to go from here. In fact, we’ve been more freely able to talk about what’s next than we ever were able to talk about how to get to life together. And that means something. It’s become the ‘alter’ or anchor of reason and rationality I go back to when my feelings go dark and twisty, and my heart is breaking.