‘Shaking Hands with the Devil’: Exploring my South and North Node Themes

This is, again, my chart. What I ‘look’ like according to Human Design.

This morning, I woke and landed on a meme that ended with,

“Some get Ease. Some get Purpose.”

And, God, did I feel that. Hint: I didn’t get ease.

Nothing is easy right now and it hasn’t been for a long time, but I understand that I’m finding my purpose. Sometimes, I just have to sit and cry and I give myself a break when I need to because the chapter of the Capricorn is shut forever. It was a hell, a trauma bond with an actual Narcissist (not a, ‘I couldn’t get along with him so he must be a narcissist’, but ‘every marker that needs to be checked was checked over 6 years of me trying to understand what the fuck I was in’ kind of narcissist) I never should have let into my life, but I did, and it wrecked me — last year, completely.

Last year, I drowned. This year, I’m treading water. Sometimes I sink under the surface, but I bob up again so, I’m doing OK. I wouldn’t be if I hadn’t had the oxygen tank of Human Design this past year.

I was thankful for the meme because I’m just bobbing back up from seeing that he gets ease and I get purpose. I wrote his X with an apology, but more than that, a confirmation…