The Course of Love

A Sexual Libra
11 min readNov 22, 2023

A tale from the middle ground between the Death of Passion and The Birth of Love

First, and again, I recommend reading, The Course of Love, by Alain de Botton.

I didn’t experience that ‘course’ with my husband because our story wasn’t a passionate romance. It wasn’t passionate at the beginning or anywhere along the way. He was my best guy friend for five years before I was able to look at him and recognize that he was who I wanted to do life with. We’re that adorable Romcom type of story — like Dawson’s Creek just … without the drama. Boy and girl are friends and, at some point, the one who didn’t see the other as a romantic partner, recognizes that she loves him.

My story with the boyfriend is and has been on The Course of Love.

The opposite of my experience with my husband, we weren’t friends first. It was all passion and romance in its truest sense: That romance is tragic in nature — fueled by the real doubts over the future and whether or not the shared passion between you can overcome the realities.

Our passion for each other has overcome a lot — and I mean A LOT. Drama, or challenge, has been our story every step of the way.

We’re currently in that awkward middle ground between passion and love. As passion has waned, the challenges have started to feel more like unnecessary drama and the question before me is: Am I going to bury passion, put a wreath on its headstone and say good-bye for the purpose of moving on to love?

Astrology distinguishes between ‘the lover’ (your placement of Mars) and ‘the spouse’ (your placement of Venus). That you’re drawn differently to an outlet for passion and romance than you are to hunkering down into a partnership and, evidently, never the twain shall meet.

With my husband, I was drawn to him as a partner and that gave us a secure space to explore, at least, the behavior of lovers.

With my boyfriend, I was drawn to him as a lover and, by nature of that draw, exploring partnership has been bumpy at best.

We weren’t friends first.
Friendship is an important part of partnering through life — that you are compatible in doing not just the hard and laborious parts together but…



A Sexual Libra

I’m happily, nonmonogamous/polyamorous. I’m, here, writing about my sexual journey through the Zodiac and open lifestyle. Thank you for reading and enjoy!