Nearly 20 years my senior, this prominent businessman in Maine’s largest city, Portland, was not particularly sexually attractive to me, but our intellectual connection, coupled with the sense that, because he and his wife had been swingers for many years, I could learn something from him, made him someone with whom I found worth in taking a stroll.
After several discussions through the KIK app, some that included telling me of his wife’s approval of my pictures and the information I’d given him, which was endearing to me, we made a point to meet.
I liked very much that his wife approved of me. I liked that he was open and honest, included her, and that our time together was sanctioned. It felt good and healthy. As I was to learn, after our romp in the hay, He had always ridden the skirt tails of his wife in the swinger scene — she was the outgoing beauty to his introverted, less attractive person. He’d gotten to enjoy fun experiences because she was who she was and that resonated with me because the dynamic with my husband is similar. My husband is a very good man, but he is not extroverted and hasn’t the “game” I have. I both felt a kindred experience with his wife and a sympathetic appreciation for him, a similarly good man.
I found a sort of peaceful reflection in being with him, a hopefulness for my husband’s journey.
We met for dinner and drinks in public first, as was my habit. We talked and I enjoyed our intellectual discussions around openness, religion, and politics. Then, after sensing that he was to be trusted, I agreed to follow him home.
His wife had recently taken a prominent career opportunity that had moved her out of state. They were venturing into partnered nonmonogamy while geographically separated. I believe I was his first solo mission. Openness takes an appreciation of, not just human sexuality, but humanity in general. I love making others feel loved and appreciated for who they are and where they’re at, the moment of our meeting. Their past, future, or life outside our time together aren’t my responsibility or concern. In the context of sex, just their present, their “now”. That’s all that’s important to me — that, presently, I’m meaningful to them.