I told the owner of my home-away-from-home the truth a lot, because I wanted to help her with her business.
I told her truths like:
“Every time you send down what you want done, it doesn’t get done and here’s why: We, the waitresses, know we don’t have to do it because there’s no one to hold us accountable. We know the bartenders can’t check everything and we just wait for them to get tired of playing the game. You’re not respected, and I’ll admit how I’ve contributed to that.”
“That’s a mistake (knowing it’s an extreme idea based on emotional reaction). It’s going to blow up in your face and here’s why.”
“This is what you should do and why.”
“That’s what I do: I drink, and I know things.”
The problem is the person, she leans on, tells her some truths but hides others and tells her what she wants to hear when it comes to the ways she wants to help herself.
I tried to help, and I knew the only way to getting the owner’s business to where she wanted it to be was through addressing the hard truths.
When the boyfriend and I talked about what the dynamic was like, he thought of the King of Rohan from the Lord of the rings. The metaphor was helpful to me.
The owner? King Theoden.
The unofficial head of staff? Grima Wormtongue/Saruman.
At first, Gandolf.
In the end?
“Eomer: How long has it been since Saruman bought you? What was the promised price, Grima? When all the Men are dead you would take your share of the treasure? Too long have you watched my sister. Too long have you haunted her steps.
Wormtongue: You see much, Eomer son of Eomund. Too much. You are banished forthwith from the Kingdom of Rohan… under pain of death.”
I saw too much and when I showed my hand, while I technically banished myself, it was because I knew what was coming down on everyone had to do with the fact that I do see much. I saw and understood a lot more than some…