What isn’t Me

I dipped below the surface yesterday. It’s OK. Again, it comes and goes in waves. There’s just a recognition that I was really controlled. For over a year, nervous system wise, I’ve been really scared. Who I was, at my core, was torn apart and beaten down. I’ve been holding a lot of what isn’t me.

But confusion is making way for clarity. Disorientation is making way for alignment. Other people’s shit is washing out and there’s room for me again.

Shame isn’t me.
I’ve gone through so many systems of understanding self and others through my life. I understand that we’re human. I understand that I’m human. I’m not perfect. No one else is either. I’ve learned over the years, that instead of questioning my intrinsic worth because I have dark corners, I can find my worth by bringing a candle into the dark corner, looking at what’s actually there and holding it with care. I am practiced in acceptance.

This thing is actually there within me. It’s actually a part of me. What can I do with it? How can I accept it and heal it or make it something that works for me rather than against me?

And, because I know how to do this, because I’m practiced in it,

Insecurity over my worth isn’t me.
I’ve been in a place before where I wasn’t concerned about proving my worth to others. I had a confidence that when I…