More Layers of Sex Part 2: Core Sexual Desires

Since understanding that I need to travel back to nonmonogamy, I’ve had some contact with previously established people who know and want to engage and have been approached by some who weren’t/didn’t but also want to engage.

One man came to me in messenger. We’ve never met, but he’s tried in the past to connect. I’ve ignored the attempts as I was not engaging people that way and he wasn’t an already established connection. A few days ago, I engaged. I’m not in a place of being able to meet him where he’s at because he’s in ‘scarcity’: that state of being manic and aggressive in his approach because of a prolonged period of time where having consistent access to a regular sexual partner has been ‘scarce’ — whether by choice (his case) or not.

Now, I have a lot of experience, in particular, with men in scarcity so, I know he’s going to be aggressive in his approach until he’s gotten laid. Because I understand that ‘scarcity’ is a real, physiological thing, especially, powerful and captivating for biological men, it doesn’t offend me, but where I’m at right now is just needing to honor and hold space for my sexual temperament and relational nature, i.e. I’m no longer ‘fucking my way’ through anything.

It wasn’t invited, but I went into ‘coach mode’ — intellectually engaging him and holding the boundary of where I’m…